I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore, Toto.

- In which Ken Livingstone gets rabies, my life grinds to a halt and I am awarded clarity.

Alright, before I begin: Ken Livingstone, dude, three things:

1) You pissed a lot of people off because there have been great efforts made to denounce homosexuality as an issue in politics, the fact you’ve managed to make it one again with one sentence is inexcusable. 

2) “Riddled” was a very, very poor choice of words – we aren’t vermin, Kenny boy. 

3)  Perhaps more focus should be shone on the Tory Party’s polices, or perhaps the fact their leader is moon-faced robot, rather than the sexual orientation of its members.

Good. Glad that’s out. Phew, I can sleep again.

Of late my daily morning routine has been tragically and considerably underwhelming. Awaken from the land of slumber, do something that resembles exercise (I call it quasi-exercise), indulge myself with boiled eggs and wholemeal bread, perform an ancient ritual that makes hot water fall magically from the ceiling, get all soapy with lynx and beat off hoards of woman with a large stick (not that one, pervert), end ritual,  scutter  towards the internet machine, proceed to be even more underwhelmed by the brutal murder of the English language that takes place right in front of my peepers each day on Twitter and Facebook – eventually you become desensitised to this slaughtering and begin to think we should just gather all copies of the Dictionary in the land, pile them high and set them ablaze. 

Once I’m done clambering over the broken grammar that litters my news feed, I tend to spend up to a couple of hours simply trolling various social networking sites in the vain hope I’ll find a comment/post/picture that will alleviate my crippling boredom. My life has fast become a dull flame of desire; I yearn for numerous things, but can’t seem to conjure up enough energy to go out and get them.  I long for water, but the kitchen tap is stiff; I grieve for butter on my toast, but the knife is harsh and cold against my fragile skin. What a conundrum – guess I’ll dehydrate and wither and die then. However, there is reason for this behavior.

My entire life was well and truly turned upside down several weeks ago, when an earth-shattering blow was delivered to my already fragile, somewhat chaotic, world.  The City of Me was plagued by a wicked storm of mendacious tales. It howled and tore through the streets like a rioting mob, gathering up more and more force as it thundered from end to end, leaving nothing in its wake except the shattered shards of hope scattered across the cold, cracked ground - and any attempt to mend these frail-yet-razor-sharp pieces would only end in multiple lacerations, leading to substantial blood loss, ultimately resulting in me bleeding out and lying broken, blood splattered and hopeless on cold, betrayal-sodden floor.  Just to put things in some kind of perspective.

So, I guess it’s time to clear the debris.

The reason this blog has come into play, other than having itchy fingers, is because I wish to express the grave disappointment-soon-to-be-loathing I’m currently harbouring towards about 80% of the people I used to know. I shall convey these feelings in the most simplistic way possible. Thanks for leaving me in cold, guys. When friends are in trouble, in need, you’re meant to band together and offer your support - not help fuel a witch hunt. You’re not meant to treat someone’s suffering or life as idol gossip or a cowardly, pathetic excuse to cut them out. You may think this ‘dig’ is a tad juvenile, but I honestly believe it’s justified.  It wasn’t for a few select people, I can safely safe I wouldn’t have gotten by.

When you’re bombarded with doubt and betrayal like that, it feels like a knife through the chest. I'll get through this, I don't need you. At the end of the day though, it’s a lucky break for me – best rid of folk like that, eh? Good, glad I got that out in the open.

Has Music Lost Its Soul?

This is an article I wrote last year for college.

As you watch MTV and are entertained by a red-headed woman, who can’t remember her name, a lady who is a bit “gaga” and a dancing boy – don’t worry Justin, lip-syncing is a part of growing up – a question will thunder in through your mind: has music lost its soul?

Thanks to various record companies the charts being dominated by auto-tune, dirty-bassy beats and electro-based pop. Deliberately provocative outfits are being sported purely for attention and pop stars trumpet their indiscretions on the front page of any publication that will have them – welcome to 21^st century show business, where you’ve got have to the looks as well as the hooks.

So why does image go hand in hand with the song these days? Glasgow-based singer/song-writer Mr Wishart reckons it’s because “Sex appeal can help; attaching an image that people relate to means you can release anything you want and it’ll sell. It’s kept Robbie Williams in business and allowed Cheryl Cole a baffling solo career but it’s getting less and less subtle every passing year. Compare 1999 Britney, controversially sexy at the time, to her latest videos for evidence of that.”  

And it’s true; sex does sell. Celebrities like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashion, who let’s face it aren’t exactly oozing music talent,  release singles purely as a way to make some extra money and by wearing outlandish pieces of clothing, that scream nothing less than “look at me”, their record sells.  Other artists embrace that use of image as part of their act. Lady Gaga once said during an interview, “I would rather die than have my fans not see me in a pair of high heels; I would never give up my wigs and hats for anything. You see legendary people taking out their trash - I think its destroying show business.” 

“Lady Gaga’s biggest asset is image” continues Mr Wishart, “she seems to know how important it is these days and she’s fully embraced this. Missing from all this hype, however, is the fact that her music ranges from fairly good, if simple, pop (Telephone, Just Dance) to decent, but bland, dance tracks (Born This Way, Poker Face.)” and The Pictish Trail, a fellow independent artist, is of the same opinion, “Stylistically, I’m a bit disappointed with her records - as they’re not quite as provocative, or edgy, as her image.”

The controversy that lays behind Lady Gaga, and indeed a lot of other artists such Katy Perry and rock-chick Avril Lavigne stems from their “it’s okay to be different” attitude. Being signed to a particularly mainstream label leads fans question if what they say is what they really believe in. You would also have to assume that there would be co-producers, stylists and so forth collaborating with these artists and as a result people often question their artistic integrity. “Lady Gaga had the same sized army of producers and co-writers as Rihanna or Ke$ha on [her album] The Fame so how much of this music is her and how much is manufactured is debatable.”  

There is no-doubt about it: if you have a massive cooperation footing your artistic bill, then you will be able to afford more elaborate, provocative outfits whilst having better produced songs and albums. This in turn will get you more attention from the media and, in Gaga’s case, gain you mass of fans. “I’m actually more impressed with RedOne who seemingly did as much on The Fame as Gaga (producer, instrumentalist, co-writer on every song), while being able to take Alexandra Burke, Jennifer Lopez etc. to the top of the singles charts at the same time. And guess who didn’t produce Gaga’s disappointing 2nd album single, ‘Born This Way’?”  Mr Wishart adds. “She’s a step above the usual pop diva but not the massively artistic female people seem to think she is.” Both Mr Wishart and Iona Marshal appear to be on the same page, “Not through choice, I’ve had to hear these songs more than enough times pumping out car radios, shops, pubs, mobile phones and such…Bad Romance and that Poker Face one are ok tunes for a laugh but highly manufactured right enough.”

But what does being manufactured or for that matter selling even mean?  “For me, selling out is really just a question of doing something you don’t want to do.” thinks The Pictish Trail.  Iona Marshall takes it further “I guess it’s handing yourself and your creative potential over to a record company and/or publisher who may want total control over the arrangement and sound of the music to make money thus compromising your own thoughts, ideas and essence of a song.”  

Pictish Trail continues, “There are big hang-ups with a lot of artists about having their music used in adverts or TV programmes and films, and whether that constitutes selling out.  The decision here is really an ethical one - do you want your art associated with someone else’s product?”

He continues, “If Coca-Cola offered me £1,000 to use one of my songs in an advert, I’d definitely do it. I drink Coke, I enjoy Coke - so why not?  However, if the Army offered the same for one of their commercials, I’d turn it down.”  

So, does being manufactured mean giving up your sense of self and allowing someone else to write your music or perhaps letting the label portray you in a certain way, just to attract a larger audience? “I don’t really know what ‘being manufactured’ means.  I wouldn’t want to be physically and artistically ‘dressed up’ for the sake of appeasing an audience - so, I suppose, to that extent I would resist being manufactured.”

The Pictish Trail and Iona Marshall are both apart of the FENCE collective; an independent record label which comprises of many acts of the alternative-folk persuasion. Though based in a small, quaint town called Cellardyke, it has an army of fans across the globe.   “Both Kenny Anderson and I run the record label” Pictish Trail informs us, “and yet neither of us is bothered about making money out of anyone else’s music but our own (respectively, King Creosote & Pictish Trail).  This means that we can promote a wide range of styles on the label, and we don’t have to concern ourselves with selling a large amount.” Iona Marshal says FENCE inspire her, “I think it’s amazing that the original Fence Collective members have grown and developed to create a national (and international probably) following, produce records on their own label, host their own music festivals and put shows on around the country”

So, how did a group that has a lot of non-MTV friendly, folk-based musicians become so popular?  “Fence Collective and Fence Records is a great thing - and I’m really proud to be a part of it all.  I think what the label and the collective have tried to do is to instil a healthy amount of collaboration and competition in the local music scene, and beyond. In this day and age, something can be niche/alternative and be financially viable.”  FENCE is where artists like KT Tunstall and Marina and the Diamonds started.  They preformed gigs up and down the country, slowly but surely gaining more popularity and a bigger fan base. “There’s an audience out there for every style of music - you just have to find it.” 

Believe it or not Pictish Trail is right, and you don’t even have to look that far anymore.  There are now a lot more artists in the charts that still cling to their musical values and, shockingly, the public seem to like it. Bands like Mumford and Sons or modest, heartbroken-superstar Adele have been scooping up awards and selling records to the same market targeted by massive labels, purely because they possess the ability to write good music. – It’s madness, I know.

Even this year at the Brit Awards manufactured mainstream got given the elbow. Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream was shot down by Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs, and Cowell-assisted stars were sent packing. Another unexpected result at this year’s awards was when the underdog, a winsome sing-songwriter called Laura Marling, unexpectedly triumphed over Cheryl Cole; proving that pouring your heart into a song works just as well as taking your clothes off.  Marling actually once said during an interview, “I don’t like the idea of being prettified or dolled up or sexualised.”  

So it appears there are still writers out there that are content to write and perform a good, honest song that is appreciated by as little as six people, just making just enough to get by. But what inspires these artists?  How would they describe their music?  “The main inspirations for my writing are, without a doubt, my girlfriend, family, and friends.” Answers Pictish Trail, “The Fence Collective are a constant source of motivation: King Creosote, James Yorkston, Lone Pigeon all have a sizeable back catalogue of music - and it really pushes me into creating something of my own.  I’d describe my music as ‘DIY Pop’, I suppose.”

For Iona Marshal it’s “When some major event happens, you definitely want to write something about it - getting together with someone, breaking up from someone, a friend leaves town, you go travelling to some far away land, a relative dies…. The process of writing a tune is kind of like escaping the world yet giving your own impressions back to the world. If what I create sounds good and lyrical ideas are coming along nicely then it’s one of the best feelings ever.”

As galling as it is we must face the fact that a lot of artists are, to use the Facebook parlance of our times, in a relationship with cooperate tyrants. They’ll gladly blow out some of their artistic flames and allow the record label to call some shots, in the hope they’ll be rewarded with fame. Does this make them any less of an artist than someone who prefers to go it alone? Possibly, depends on your own personal opinion.  Art is relative, and the way people perceive it will continuously differ. Some songs may make you shake your booty like Beyoncé, others may remind you of lovers lost.  See, what makes a real artist is self-expression and inspiration; the ability to turn something negative into art – regardless if you make millions or not.

During an interview Gaga said, “When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condom-less sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.”  She may have fame, but Gaga doesn’t have a fortune. The millions she makes go on her shows, outfits and dancers – that’s what matters to her.

“Music shouldn’t be about maintaining a supposed artistic integrity, or fitting in with a current trend.  It’s about doing what feels right to you, and representing your music in a way that you are comfortable with.”  - The Pictish Trail.

 So, maybe there is still hope for music’s soul